Things Overheard in First Grade Today

   
   Putting on costumes before our Goldilocks and the Three Bears play:
  As these conversations are happening, please imagine twelve children frolicking throughout the
  room touching each other's costumes, nervously wringing their hands, and writhing in pre-play
  anticipation:

  "What if I had to wear that wig for the rest of my ever loving natural life?" -Goldilocks
  "My mask is cool. Not Spiderman cool, but still like regular, I'm a kid cool". -Tree #4
  "If I wear this tie any longer, I'm going to die. I am dying. Goodbye, world." -Papa Bear
  "Is baby bear a boy or a girl? I don't get it."-Baby Bear
  "This is a big deal, guys. A biiiiiiiiig deal. Calm down, deep breaths." -Tree #1
  "What if a bee pollenated me during the play?" -Flower
  "This costume is awwwwwkward!!!!!" -Tree #2
  "This lace is awkward." -Baby Bear
  "This apron is awkward." -Mama Bear
  "This chair is awkward."-Flower
  "This play is awkward." -Tree #1
  "Are you guys aware of the meaning of the word awkward?" -Me

  After the Goldilocks and the Three Bears play:
  "I rocked everyone's faces off." -Goldilocks
  "Can I wear my mask all day? Kids would think I was a real bear that would eat them." -Papa Bear
  "Can I wear my mask all day? Kids would think I was a flower that would spit seeds at them."-Flower
  "I shoulda won an acting trophy." -Tree #2
  "....For best supporting tree in a comedy or musical." -Me

 During our seven page math test:
  Student comes up out of breath: "I....can't....take...it...anymore! I just can't take it!"
  Student finishes first, looks at me with wide eyes and in all seriousness: "I think I might be a genius."
  Student taking test, loudly shouts, "I BELIEVE IN MYSELF!!"

  At recess:
  "Will you play with us? You can be Aunt Ferfle." -student to me
  "No, she can be Aunt Dolphinhead!" -another student to me
  "No, no, no! I got it. She can be Aunt Ferfle Dolphinhead"-another student to friends
   They all nod their heads in agreement.

  I love this job.